you do need to do something, but only you can decide. There is also that folk become ill or tired, but given support they'll eventually come through. I imagine you'll hear that "no one is obliged to have sex" and "its your role to make your partner feel sensual" or "you're responsible for your sex life." "Oh, and there is the view that one ought to sexually fulfill their partner if they aren't to go elsewhere." The Passionate marriage is another good book. I found it helpful to hear how others thought about such situation.
I wonder if you've read Bettina Arndt's The Sex Diaries. The reality is that this will continue to harm your relationship until it is addressed.
The other is that the needs still exist.Ĭan I suggest you tell you wife that the situation is causing emotional and physical difficulties for you and clearly you did not sign up to have no physical relationship for the rest of your life? Then ask her if the two of you can see a counsellor together to try and draw out the underlying issue, which obviously isn't the physical act but the emotion behind it? One is that it creates confusion for the other partner. When that situation changes, two things happen. Some emotional, some physical, some financial et cetera. The difficulty, I think, is that in relationships we tend to meet a number of needs of our partner. The possibilities are numerous and I do not have the information to make even an informed guess! You just do not know and she may not even know why she feels this way. Remember, we are talking about their perceptions, not their reality, and your interest in her may just feel like you are being patronising.Īlternately, (although unlikely by the sound of it) she may really have lost interest in you or being seeing someone else. Women can be very critical of their bodies and can feel ugly after childbirth. Such a situation happens to both men and women and can have many causes. Lucky for me, I am addressing you, not every person with an opinion that can read this, so here goes. Your situation is difficult and it may be hard to get responses for fear of criticism.